Do some long for festivals celebrated at home? Or do others embrace it and make it their own?

Justice Murthy -- one of the most intriguing characters in award-winning Indian-American author Rishi Reddi's Karma and Other Stories, which focuses on the balance that Indian-Americans strive to achieve between their traditions and American life -- is taking a walk with his friend Manu in Boston.

The friend asks him about the cane Murthy is using to walk.

Let Reddi continue the story:

"I am required to use the cane, Manu. Not out of necessity, mind you. My grandchildren gave it to me as a present for their Christmas holiday. Their feelings would be very much hurt if I left it behind."

He is a short man, much shorter than I am, so I have to look down at him anyway when we speak. But then I leaned the cane on the bench and remained standing while he sat, just so he would know I was speaking the truth. "Are you not cold?" I asked.

"Not at all," he said, looking casually at the old Trinity Church (an Episcopal church located in Boston, Massachusetts), making no move to get up even though some snow was blowing straight in our faces. "So you are celebrating Christmas these days, is it?"

"Are you teasing me or what, Manmohan? You know I do not like to follow these Western customs. But what else can one do when one is a foreigner in America and one's daughter has insisted on marrying a local fellow?" I picked up the cane again. "Chalo. Are you not feeling hungry?"

When they come to their favorite Indian restaurant, they find it is closed for Christmas. It is an Indian restaurant, says Justice Murthy, a recent immigrant. Why should they close on Christmas?

Reddi says she created the incident because it reflects the confusion many immigrants have about Christmas.

They are surrounded by the festival and festivities, says Reddi who was born in Hyderabad and grew up in England and the United States. But many do not understand how important a festival it is in America, be it for religious or social reasons.

"Justice Murthy is a narrow-minded person," she says. "He is the kind of person who may not even know there are millions of Christians in India who have been marking Christmas in some form or another for more than 2,000 years. Some immigrants may not be comfortable dealing with Christmas in America even though they might have Christian friends and neighbours in India. It could also be because Christmas is such a huge thing here and people are bewildered by the grand scale it is celebrated in."

But there are also Indians who gladly buy a Christmas tree and illuminate their homes. For many of them, it is a way of showing they are part of a most important American tradition.

"I love everything about Christmas," says Kartik Raj, a software engineer. "Even if I don't believe in Santa Claus, I let my young children believe in the jolly man." He says the streets in New York or any big city in North America look enchanting with Christmas decoration. "I cannot resist looking at the illumination and shop fronts for hours," he says.

Raj may be surprised to learn there are many Indians not comfortable with the festival. Among them is filmmaker Mira Nair who, despite studying in a school run by Catholic nuns in Kolkata, openly says it is an alien festival to her, even after living in America for over two decades. She is afraid it will never really find a place in her heart.

"Many who put up lights and have Christmas trees in their homes think of it only in commercial terms. It is a social event for them," says Reddi.

Not many immigrants, including Indians, will make use of the occasion to find out about the teachings of Christ, people interviewed for this feature said.

Indian-American writer Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni echoes their thoughts: "They are more interested in the external aspects of the festival," she feels. "I think they are following the example of Americans who, despite all the stress and anxiety involved in choosing gifts, make Christmas weekend one of the busiest shopping periods of the year."

Many Indian parents put up a Christmas tree because they do not want their children to feel left out, Divakaruni, the mother of two boys, continues. She says many Indians feel quite comfortable with Christmas celebrations, but the festivities don't mean much to her. Still, as in India, she has Christian friends in America and wishes them the best of the season and a serene holiday.

Divakaruni discovered that when she moved from the American Midwest to California whatever little pressure she felt in attending a Christmas event or service disappeared completely.

"I realised that in an America that was fast becoming a multicultural country, you didn't have follow customs you weren't comfortable with."

To many Indians, Christmas means an additional burden. "Just a few days before Christmas, we spend quite a bit on Diwali and other festivities including the Dandiya nights," says a restaurant owner in Washington, DC. "And even before we have recovered, Christmas is on us, and our children have forgotten we gave them Diwali gifts just the other day."

Reddi, who is married to a Catholic immigrant of Ukrainian ancestry and has a baby daughter called Maya, thinks of her own Christmas days when she was young.

Her father, a physician, and mother, a businesswoman, gave her beautiful and meaningful gifts, their only child recalls. "They gave me the presents because I wasn't to feel left out," she chuckles. "I don't think they fully grasped what Christmas was really about."

A writer and lawyer -- who graduated from Swarthmore College, Pennsylvania, USA, and the Boston-based Northeastern University School of Law, and practiced environmental law for ten years before turning full-time to writing -- Reddi thinks she remembers her first Christmas when she was about seven. But she didn't feel comfortable with the Christmas tree for quite some time.

Her parents didn't celebrate Diwali in any way for many years, she adds. "The Indian community in Philadelphia was very small then," she says. "Perhaps my parents felt they couldn't recreate Diwali as they used to do in India."

Indians are also learning to be smart gift-givers. Some people dare to say there will be no gifts for the family, but opt for dinner at a nice restaurant instead. "A memorable meal does stay with you for quite some time," says Simran Singh, a medical student.

Toronto-based shopping expert Cathie Mostowyk, who writes a column called The Shoestring Shopping Guide in the Toronto Star, believes Christmas is really about getting together as a family, 'not just about opening gift after gift.'

Her thoughts are echoed by Anna Andrade, who is from Bangalore and is currently visiting friends in America. The happiest people this season are those who have spent the least amount of time agonising over gifts, she says. "I don't like to blow up money. But I have found nice, inexpensive gifts online." The craze for gifts didn't exist in India two or three decades ago, she points out. "Now, it looks as if they are competing with the Americans."

Mostowyk, meanwhile, offers a practical suggestion but says it takes some courage to follow her advice. 'If you're feeling particularly strong-willed, and make a pact with friends or family that you will be getting each other nothing, it's crucial you stick with it. Sometimes, people can't resist picking up a little gift or two, and that just embarrasses the people who stuck with the pact.' She makes one big exception in the case of the very young. 'Young children in the family cannot be subjected to a gift-less holiday,' she notes, 'because until they are old enough to fully understand the concept, it's unfair to put them in that situation.' Reddi says when her daughter Maya was born two years ago, she (Reddi) began to learn more about Christmas. "Maya is very lucky," she says. "She is spending Diwali with my parents, and Christmas with (husband) Alexi's parents. She will have a place in both cultures, in both traditions."

She herself remains Hindu in a broad sense. "But, like thousands of Indian immigrants, I look at Christmas as a festival of good feeling," she adds. "I want to celebrate the genuine generosity many people offer, not only during Christmas but throughout the year." Many young people who are looking at Christmas with its commercial aspects may change their attitude when they grow old, she says. With her daughter, she wants to start early on, and give her a deep sense of Indian and American festivals. After all, as she has known for a long time, commercialisation is not confined to American festivals.

One reason Indian immigrants are also getting to know significant things about Christmas, she says, is because there is much interfaith marrying among the second and third generation. She knows many people like her, who came as immigrants when they were very young, and went on to marry Americans.

Though many Indian immigrants are baffled by Christmas traditions, community leaders feel a majority of them, especially those who have teenage children, are not only used to the festival but also enjoy some of the non-religious rites that go with it. Many mainstream publications including The New York Times have written about the love immigrants have for Christmas. In fact, the Times ran an article more than 14 years ago, describing Christmas festivities in Queens -- where 43 per cent of the two million residents come from more than 100 countries.

Like many immigrants who are not Christians, Ranjit Singh Janjua is mystified by many of the holiday customs he has seen in his Queens, New York, neighbourhood that have been dutifully adopted to feel at home in America, the Times wrote. Janjua even went to the public library to do a bit of research on Christmas traditions, and came home more than baffled when he realised the myths about Santa Claus. But, he had been sold into celebrating Christmas.

Many immigrants also feel Christmas lighting and the tree bring them closer to their neighbours. "We have made many friends in the neighbourhood after people saw us decorating our home," Simran Singh, who lived in Queens for several years, said. She also said she went to midnight mass. "And guess what -- it was in Punjabi, and there were Punjabi Christians from Pakistan, too!"

One of the families who started befriending the Singhs soon after they moved into neighbourhood were Russian Christian immigrants who had been there for several years. They helped the Singhs erect the tree.

Why would a Muslim, Hindu or Sikh celebrate Christmas, Simran Singh used to wonder when she was a new immigrant. Photograph top: An Indian participates in the Volunteers of America Sidewalk Santa training in New York City. Photograph bottom: Author Rishi Reddi. Photograph top: Mario Tama/Getty Images
Text: Arthur J Pais Also read: The Christmas Special

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