Is your love life under pressure? Love Guru hosted a chat with Get Ahead readers on April 2 to help them deal with relationship problems. For those of you who missed it, here's the transcript.
Love Guru says, Hello there, people! Been a long time, but welcome back to the Love Guru chat! Let's get started with solving those messy relationship issues!
manisha asked, am 25 year girl,my parents like proposel tht my bua send us,he is very good and qualified 29 year old,my family n relatives know there family very well.but i like him too but hesitate to marry him because he is a divorce,why any unmarried girl marry a divorce. i consult with my friends they don,t like this this proposel saying me to say no..am confuse what to do.people look suspeciously if i marry him.
Love Guru answers, Manisha, what would you do if you were trapped in an unhappy marriage? You'd have two choices -- divorce or suffer for the rest of your life. The former option makes more sense. So that's what happened to this guy, most likely. You can't punish or judge someone for a failed relationship. What is the big deal? If you want to know more about him, why don't you just find out about the reasons behind his failed first marriage? But don't go judging him just because he is a divorcee. That is unfair, narrow-minded and just plain stupid if you ask me.
PS: PLEASE STOP FLOODING THE CHATROOM WITH YOUE OWN QUESTION! GIVE OTHERS A CHANCE TO PUT FORWARD THEIRS!
xx asked, 45 yr divorce in love with 33 year old unmarried lady,as our relationship is 2 yr old now we are very much seriuos about marriage.but her parents are not interested
in this alliance.i also send proposel through my parents but they rejected saying there is huge age gap and also divorce status.now parents are also backing out.
i really don,t know what to do,as now she always crying whenever we talk ,saying either she marry me only or remain single throughour her life.marrying without there parents consent bit a hurtening for both us.can we opt for court marriage.
how much time it take to get married through court.
Love Guru answers, Your lady love needs to stand up to her parents and go ahead with this unless she wants her parents' foolishness to cost her a lifetime of unhappiness. She's 33, for heavens' sake and you're 45! You both are old enough to be parents yourselves, so stop behaving silly like a couple of kids and do what you think is best for both of you. As for a court marriage, you have to register, wait out the notice period of a month, and then go ahead with the marriage, in the presence of any 3 witnesses.
Leo asked, I am 24 years. I propose a girl sweta. She tells that she is not interested in Love Ship but she tells that I don't want to lose you she request me to be her friend. What should I do ? I love her so much but she wants me as a friend.
Love Guru answers, That's a choice you have to make, isn't it? If you want to be mature and can move on from your feelings for her, remain friends. If not, maybe you need to distance yourself from her for awhile till you get over it.
kiran asked, hello guru,22 yr recently join my first job in MNC where i befriended a guy of 33 yr old.he take care me very well,now he become my bf,he promise me for marriage.but later i know tht he is married have 2 kids
too.am from panjab side,he is from ahmedabad,his family lives there.but he says hs wife is
illitatere n not so good looking ,so he marry me.also he says me to befriended some of his
male friends as he says that because in our mind n heart already we become couple only there is relgiuos ceremony to make it legal.but we never go into s***.but now he start asking me for it,as he think mentally we r couple so we can enjoy our relationship physically to.
can he marry me.if i ignore him i have to leave my job.he help me lot in my work.what to do sir
Love Guru answers, Kiran, this guy is 10 years older and is taking blatant advantage of you. What makes you think he will leave his wife? All he's doing is enjoying himself at your cost while his wife is away. Call off this relationship immediately. I doubt it will cost you your job as he has a lot more at stake than you -- he can't afford for his family to find out about you. Don't ignore him, just tell him plainly that you don't want to carry on an affair with a married man no matter what explanation he gives you. Tell him you would like to remain on civil terms at the office as colleagues and that's it.
yogesh asked, hi love guru whats up?. I am 26 years old, working in MNC company, having an affair with one girl who is 21 years old doing college. We have a relation for the past 4 years. even our parents are also aware about this. Now a days she avoids talking to me, even she does not call me. Reason when asked she give one or other execuses. I know there is a change in her behavier, but she denies and does not want to comment on this issue. I love her very much but i cannot force her to tell me whats happing. Kindly advice wherther i should continue with her or should leave her.
Love Guru answers, Yogesh, I can understand if you want to get out of this relationship, but she certainly owes you an explanation for her behaviour. Tell her that after 4 years, she cannot pretend that everything is fine when it is not and that she has to at least let you know what is going on. If she has met someone else or for whate4ver reason wants to call off the relationship, she is the one who has to be honourable enough to face the truth. See what she has to say; if it is something that can be worked on, fine. Else move on with your life.
Deep asked, hey LG, I m married & wrking as HR, m very boared in lyf...wht do i do... daily sum issues.... family,personal,social,professional,there is no prob in me & my hubby bt... others bug us alot... seems we gv them lots of space,I m forcing my hubby 2 c any aboroad apportunity...bt Dn hv 1.... hw 2 sort out dis out yaar?????
Love Guru answers, You don't necessarily have to move to another country, you know. You could simply move to another area in your city or another state where you don't know too many people and make a fresh start. But I think life will be even more boring for you then. The whole world is facing a recession right now and opportunities abroad are practically impossible to come by. You'll just have to be patient. And try to count your blessings -- a happy marriage and a good job -- instead of being so dissatisfied.
Illustrations: Uttam Ghosh
(Advice from the Love Guru does not necessarily reflect the opinions of Rediff.com and should not be considered in the capacity of professional counselling.)
Also see: 'New in-laws willing to accept me, but not my child'