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'I'm married, but I get physical with my boss'

January 25, 2008
Is a caste issue coming in the way of your love life?

Is your partner taking advantage of you?

Get Ahead's Love Guru has the solution to all your relationship anxieties!

In a chat with readers on January 24, Love Guru addressed all kinds of love problems. For those of you who missed it, here's the transcript.


Love Guru says, Hello, hello, all you lovely people! Love Guru is here, ready to address all your relationship problems!


ji asked, 'LOVE','ji','HI loveguru I am in a love with a guy who has girlfriend . they have relationship for more than 15 year.I fall in love with guy. we share each & every thing with each other but he is not reday to marry with me. suggest me what to do. He always say enjoy your life. ',now

Love Guru answers, He's made it clear that he won't leave his girlfriend -- so why are you letting him take advantage of you? Eventually he'll marry her and have children -- do you want to be a homewrecker? Walk out of this relationship -- now! Find someone unattached and who is willing to make a real committment to you.


nihar asked, i like a girl who is already in a relationship. Does that mean that I am evil or does that mean that the other guy is better than me? would you advice me to propose to her or should i just let it go?

Love Guru answers, no nihar, you are *not* evil. it's now up to the girl to decide who she wants. but don't take this further till she does. infidelity benefits nobody. and a relationship without trust is the worst kind.


Rahul asked, hello love Guru. I am in love with 2 girls and love them both. Is it normal

Love Guru answers, No, it's not normal. How would you feel if you had one girlfriend, but she had another boyfriend besides you? Your emotions would take a beating! It's time to make a decision -- before they find out about each other and both leave you!


tiki asked, My husband i snot interested in sex, not talks to me, ignores me, never goes out with me and never allow me to go to my parents palce.....feels jealous when i apprecite someone, what his probelm

Love Guru answers, tiki, you need to confront your husband about this and ask him what's bothering him. if you think he's avoiding you, try to get to the cause and both of you can work on it after you know that.


TD asked, Hi,I m rite now i singapore...n the guy m interested in is in US...i met him online like 2 yrs ago..since then we have been gr8 frnds...from last few mnths...i have developed feelings for him..n even he has ..he have even told me so..i wont say i luv him but i do like him...hints given by him clearly says he is interested in getting married n settling down...now my problem is how shukd i approach my mom n tell her abt him coz well..i met him online..n my mom being bit conservative...will have problem with this...help pls

Love Guru answers, well, first of all you two need to meet in the real world. online dating is all very well but you need to see if you share any personal connection, without hiding behind your keyboards. if you *do* find all is well, then perhaps you can tell your mother you met him through a friend or something. there is no need to worry; it won't be that much of a problem.


vthom asked, I broke off before my marriage and after 2 years of marriage its in the state very much like Tiki. I dont feel like continuing with this life anymore. I dont feel like loving my wife anymore as I somehow start comparing her with my ex-girlfriend. I don\'t know why but I do not feel very comfortable with my wife these days. My ex is still unmaaried and I think still waiting for me...I have a kid and that\'s the only knought left....What I should do?

Love Guru answers, Stop comparing your wife to your ex. They are two different people, each with their set of good and bad points. It is because you are in an unhappy situation that you are thinking about your previous relationship and glorifying it in your own mind. You have a child together -- talk to your wife honestly, tell her that you both have to try and recapture the lost spark. And make a serious effort to do so.


Sai asked, hi loveguru, my parents started late for searching a gal. i have already stepped into 32. i am becoming nervous whether they can find a suitable gal for me. they stated searching for only last year after fighting with me. we are still looking for a gal. as age grows, becoming difficult to loot out as gals wanted for younger guys.

Love Guru answers, don't worry, sai. have faith. I'm sure they'll find someone for you. the 'marriagable age' tag has now become very flexible indeed.


ahmed asked, hello LG My name is ahmedkhan. I am working abroad and my family is in my native place. i here for quite some time, and missing my wife very badly. Is it okay to look for prostitutes, since it is unbarable to control such feelings. another problem is that i doubt whether my wife back home, will have the same feeling as i have? Can she also look for some men for such things.i am suspicious about it. looking for your valuable advice. Please answer. thanks

Love Guru answers, What's good for the goose is good for the gander, my friend. Don't indulge in any activity you wouldn't appreciate your wife indulging in. And why don't you have her join you abroad? Stop thinking about cheating on her or you'll weaken the foundation of your marriage. It's only because you have such disgusting thoughts that you are suspicious of her, imagining that she might feel the same way.


prem rawat asked, i had two girls in my life right now. main ek se pyaar karta hooo par doosri se nahi. maine pehle use yes isliye ki kyonki woh mujhe bahut pyaar karti thi but now i got my love, woh bhi arranged, par main data hoo agar main pehle wali ko bata doonga toh woh kuch kar naa le please kya karoo darta hoo kahi kuch ho gaya toh? should i tell her the truth? please yaar say something

Love Guru answers, prem, you have gotten yourself into a bit of a mess but the best course of action is to be totally honest with the girl. it might hurt her, but more lying will only make things much worse.


sindhu asked, hi love guru, I loved one guy, but his parents dint agree for our marriage, so they have fixed his marriage with somebody else.. he says he cant be touch with me.. i am findinf it diff to live without talking to him.. and one more thing he is not worried abt me after his marriage fixed..are guys so mean and can forget someone so soon.. dont they have any feeling.. suggest me to come out of it..

Love Guru answers, He's a coward. he didn't stand up to his parents for your sake. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with a spineless wimp like that? Forget about him and start looking for a new relationship. Eventually you will meet someone who loves you enough to defy the odds and be with you. Not all guys are such jerks.


luck asked, Hi LG i am married & having a 3 year old son, my wife is home maker. In september 2007 i met a lady on the internet & we both soon became frieds. I am in my early 30's & she is elder to me by 8 to 10 years. She is also married from past 20 years & has 2 kids. She started loving me & is also commited the same, Later even i fell in love with her. I stay here in Bombay & she stays in London. She tells me that she is madly in love with me & wants to meet me. But for some odd reason presently she can't. I am also starting to feel that i am also falling madly in love with her & want 2 meet her. Am really confused on how this relationship gonna go & need your advice.

Love Guru answers, dear luck, please don't get carried away -- especially before meeting this woman. you have a family and seem willing to leave them, but too much is at stake. please meet this internet-woman first and then decide what you want in life, and if it's worth it. Be very careful. goodluck.


Illustrations: Uttam Ghosh

(Advice from the Love Guru does not necessarily reflect the opinions of Rediff.com and should not be considered in the capacity of professional counselling.)
Also read: 'I'm only 17, but my boyfriend is pressuring me for sex'

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