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'I'm a guy in love with a lesbian'

August 15, 2008

Have you suffered a harsh rejection at the hands of a loved one?

Do you want to get over someone you once had feelings for?

In a chat with Get Ahead readers on August 14, the Love Guru addressed many such problems. For those of you who missed it, here's the unedited transcript.


Love Guru says, Good afternoon, folks! Welcome to my chat -- now that we're all settled in, let get cracking at those relationship problems!


rubi asked, hi LG.. i have written to u many times..just praying that u respond this time. I have a acute problem...i am a bisexuaal... i have a boyfriend..and numerous girls from my hostel. and i have been making luv with all of them.. my boyfriend and my girlfreinds.. one day...i somehow managed to convince my boyfriend to have a threesome..me, my bf and one of my friends... but i realised that my bf got interested in my freind..and they had fun actually....i have heard that they now meet regularly... somehow i feel deserted... pls help...

Love Guru answers, Look, being attracted to both sexes is not something that you can help, but you certainly shouldn't have had a threesome! When you're in a relationship with somebody you love -- whether that's a man or a woman -- having sex with that person is an expression of your love. If you're only interested in sexual gratification with multiple partners, why be in a relationship in the first place? Now talk toboth of them and ask about the rumours -- but if they've decided to enjoy each toher's company, there's little you can do about it! Don't make the same mistake again!


shivani asked, hi love guru please help me.. i am married since 6 months and there is no relations between me and my husband.. he is just suspecting on me.. he was my friend since 7 years and he knows me in and out.. how long should i wait and till now i have not told to mine or his parents.. i tried to speak with him he says that when he feels it will happen.. what to do please help

Love Guru answers, When he feels what? And why should you wait around for his mood to change? Ask him that! It's not like you've done anything to displease him -- why did he marry you if he was going to act like such a fool? Tell him he better commit to being a good husband like you've committed to being a good wife, or you will walk out on him!


Life asked, Hi love Guru, I am in a realtionship from past one and half year. Till now Life was moving smoothly. But recently we both seperated for doing our MBA. Dont have time to speak to each other. This is creating gaps in our relationship.What to do??

Love Guru answers, If your relationship is strong, lack of cummunication till the exams is over won't be such a problem. There is no need to call off the relationship -- just give each other space to work hard and wait it out.


Kamlesh asked, Hi Love guru I am in love with a girl, but my parents have decided my marriage with another, what can i do? i am deeply in love with my beloved, we have physical relations as well, plz guide me

Love Guru answers, What can you do? You can behave like a man instead of a mouse and tell your parents that you want to marry the girl of your choice, that's what you can do! And be firm about it!


Anchit asked, Sir i wanna know that do Long Distance R'ships work?? My gf and I have been going out since 2 yrz now..and its not the normal teenage crush..v actually plan to marry and all..we used to live in d same colony..and no each odr since evr!! she wont stray away ryt??

Love Guru answers, Nobody can say anything for sure. Wives living in the same house as their husbands stray after marriage! You could stray at some point or the other! Don't waste time thinking 'what if' and focus on what is -- you know each other well, you love each other and trust each other. Why won't the relationship work in these favourable circumstances?


asd asked, i am married since 7 years. my hus is not romantic and i need some romance in life. I have tried to convince him but he is not able to create some enjoyment in our lives. what can i do please help me out.

Love Guru answers, Why don't you try to be romantic? Why leave the responsibility solely with him? If he doesn't make romantic plans, you start making them. Once you both start enjoying them, he will also come up with similar ideas that will please you.


kila asked, I was in love with a girl since last 1 year. I knew that she had a bf and one day she was going to get married to him. Just last week she got engaged with her bf. Now, we are good frinds.....is it ok to maintain friendship with her?

Love Guru answers, Yes, it is, but make sure you don't try to cause any trouble in her relationship. Remain a friend but look for love elsewhere.


sajana asked, Hi, My problem is just i couldn'r find out mr right person.its upset all the time.i feel so lonely pls try to help me!!!!!!!

Love Guru answers, Sajana, the harder you look the more difficult it will be! The day you stop looking the right person will fall into your lap! Enjoy life and count your blessings -- that's the only way you'll be happy. When the right person comes along, you'll know it. So don't meet every new boy in the hopes that he is 'the one' -- it's a major turn-off!


ggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg asked, Hi Lg I am in love with a guy past 5 years we are very close emotionally and now she is saying that she want to concentrate on her career i have no probs but she has started ignoring me and when i talk reagfdaing marriage she said she will do wht her parents say i am not a vey rich guy earns 7k a month and where i work i dnt think her parents will allow her.. wht she we do

Love Guru answers, Getting married and running a home is a big responsibility, do you think you are ready for it at this point? Clearly, your girlfriend is not -- ask her frankly if she can live within the means available to both of you and go against her parents. If not, I would suggest breaking it off -- there's no point in loving somebody who doesn't want to be with you at all costs.


Illustrations: Uttam Ghosh

(Advice from the Love Guru does not necessarily reflect the opinions of Rediff.com and should not be considered in the capacity of professional counselling.)
Also read: 'What will society think if I marry a divorcee?'

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