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'My boyfriend is forcing me to convert'

August 1, 2008
Is your partner not paying enough attention to you?

Is religion wreaking havoc on your love life? Are you in love with someone who doesn't feel the same way about you?

In a chat with Get Ahead readers on July 31, the Love Guru addressed many such problems. For those of you who missed it, here's the unedited transcript.

Love Guru says, Hi there, people! Welcome to the Love Guru chat -- let's get cracking solving all those relationship problems!

som asked, hi i am loving a girl , but her side i dont know , yesterday night she called me to her bed room and we finished all things , but morning she does'nt speek with me , sheather she loves me or not , please inform me sir.

Love Guru answers, Well, you can demand an answer! If she doesn't say anything, ask her and wait for a response -- she can't just lure you into her bedroom and then pretend like nothing happened! Tell her things don't work that way and if she wants only a casual, physical relationship with no strings attached she should tell you. Then it's up to you whether you want to pursue things in that manner or not.

aakash asked, hi lg,earlier i asked a question about a girl living opp my apartment,her room being at a distance of 50 ft from mine,few days ago my frd came into the act and he told her hi and she started giving response,she even waved her hand 2wards him from her bedroom by switching off her room lights,isnt she intrested in me anymore?

Love Guru answers, As I recall, I think I asked you to initiate contact with her in a similar manner to your friend -- did you? If not, your friend has made the first move and she's responded. You can try the same thing too and become friends first -- it's too early to predict being interested in her and vice versa.

divya asked, hi, help me out na. there are 2 boys who are time nd again proposing me in as many ways as possible. i m nt interested in them. hw much ever i try to convience them, they r not ready to leave me alone. plz give suggestions to get rid of these guys..........

Love Guru answers, Have you tried a really firm 'no'? Tell them that they cannot force you to fall in love with either of them and you don't want to be pestered incessantly by them. Either they get rid of all hope to woo you and remain your friends, or then cut them out of your life completely.

meenal asked, i am 31 year single lady,2 years back i met a married man 39 year old,who got transfer in our company for 4 years ,we slowly start developing friendship that led to intimate we start living together but with the promise that we never ask for marriage,or committed to each other.i think that i time i develop that relationship in a hurry just ti fulfil my lonelinees.but all these years he always talk about his kids,family, that time i think what i am for him.i don,t have any future with this i start thinking about my life afresh .i met a divorcee guy 3 months back.he is really a nice and intrested in long term relationship that lead to marriage,even my parents agree to this proposel.but my fear is that this married man don,t know this ,i afraid if he knows he will harm me or my i tell sometime he become so possesive about me he don,t like if i talk or met any other guy.

Love Guru answers, What kind of fool are you to play second fiddle to a married man and bother about him being possessive of you? Kick him to the curb -- tell him that he has a family life and you want one too. Since he cannot give you that, you have found someone who can and he should just accept it gracefully. Don't be lured in by Mr. Married's false promises. If you are genuinely worried that he is capable of harming you or your boyfriend, approach the police. In any case I think he'll leave you alone for fear of you telling his family about his affair with you.

praj asked, hi LG!! this is for the 3rd time i ask you that i am in luv with my d'in law. i think she is also in luv with me. but seems both ar afraid due relation. we want to go ahead pl advise.

Love Guru answers, You should not go ahead at any cost! Have you no feelings or concern for your son? And what kind of wife is she to cheat on her husband with his dad? This is not 'The Bold and the Beautiful', this is real life. Curb yourselves and exercise restraint or you will devastate your family.

jigar asked, i had a relation with a gal for almost 6months then we broke off and again after 2months we carried for few more months. 1fine day she suddenly say we are just friends.when i asked the reason why she is doing this she has no answers and this is making me crazy.can you tell me what to understand by her behavior.

Love Guru answers, Maybe she just doesn't feel for you as a lover, Jigar -- maybe she thinks you're better off as friends? Ask her about this and tell her she owes you an honest answer. If she isn't in love with you anymore, she should tell you honestly. And if she does, you need to take it in the right spirit. She tried a relationship with you and failed, so she walked out instead of taking advantage of you. Accept that.

Gogulkv asked, Hi lg. I had love wit a girl and she too loved me.but me only proposed her. The reason tat i take cared of her is nothing but her bad situation. At those time while we were deep in love . She use to tel about one guy tat he cheated her by the name of love .m from a middle class family.she told tat due to him she is going to loss her life. I just convinced her and made her alright Some months before she told me tat if seen her nude and kissed all her placers of body I just got vexed we left nowAnsme pls

Love Guru answers, Well, she loved him and so had a physical relationship with him. Don't you feel like doing the same to somebody you're in love with? It's normal. And sometimes the relationship doesn't work out -- so what? She's told you the truth and you should accept it if you love her. Also realise that this is in the past. Leave skeletons where they belong -- in the closet.


Love Guru answers, She's made a decision. Respect it and move on. It will be hard at first, but eventually you will be fine. Take a vacation away from home, hang out with and confide in close friends -- they will provide you a shoulder to cry on. If you are a workaholic, throw yourself into your work. Do what it takes to get your mind off the situation and start dating other women.

Illustrations: Uttam Ghosh & Dominic Xavier

(Advice from the Love Guru does not necessarily reflect the opinions of and should not be considered in the capacity of professional counselling.)
Also read: 'I caught my husband watching porn'


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